the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize