dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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