Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
