is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
