Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize