apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
