let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Couch. On fire.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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