She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i dont even know how to be here
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
