we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
