I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Found your dick twin last night
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
