We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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