i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
