doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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