Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize