I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
