even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
