not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
