Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
