I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
