Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I forget how to act sober
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
