There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
