i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
