She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
