Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
