the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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