hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
40s are totally the cure
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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