god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
