I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
