i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize