can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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