She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think your dad took our porno
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize