I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
