This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
