Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
