man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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