..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
its not stalking. its research.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
