The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
