Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
