Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
