Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
honey bunches of taint.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
