dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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