scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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