on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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