i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
