last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
