I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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