i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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