real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I didn't shave. On purpose
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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