Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
