nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
