Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
