I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
