All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
