I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
