? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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