Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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