What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
