Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
