Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
