are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
