Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize