I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
