I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
