had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just want nice things and good sex
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Randomize