My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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