It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
