she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
