Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize